


your heart's too big for your body, it's why you can't fit inside

by theyarenotfree



Series: creepy crawly chronicles [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Flirting, M/M, Meet-Cute, Spiders, awkward car spooning, its a proven fact, spider extermination, traumatic moment, yeah spiders are the #1 cause of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 16:12:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4841984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyarenotfree/pseuds/theyarenotfree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“I’ll smash the spider for you,” Louis smiles, small and private, “I won’t like it, but I’ll do it.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry doesn’t respond, just watches Louis with these soft eyes. Louis bites at his lip, looking insecure, before he steps towards the car. His hand closes around the door handle, wrist flexing while he prepares himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Wait,” Harry interrupts, suddenly second guessing himself. Louis turns around, looking slightly relieved.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We shouldn’t smash it. What was I thinking? How would I feel if someone just came along and smashed me?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>(or there is a spider in harry's car and louis is his heroic-spider-killer)</p>
            </blockquote>





	your heart's too big for your body, it's why you can't fit inside

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the creepy crawly chronicles. (this is just gonna be a bunch of fics featuring weird insects or animals. i have a lizard and a kitten fic planned out already hah so if you have any ideas just hmu bc i'm open to anything). anyways hope you enjoy,,, if you wanna talk to me (i promise i'm nice) my twitter is @theyarenotfree. 
> 
> title is from the song cry baby by melanie martinez.
> 
> PS: this is absolutely separate from the first fic in the series so you do NOT need to read the first part if you don't want to. they're completely different verses. although for the sake of self promo, my sorry ass totally recommends it so actually you should really go read it asap. love you guys xx.

“You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only _seventeeeeen_. Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambour— _FUCK_.“

 

Harry has never had the pleasure of seeing his life flash before his eyes. There have been plenty of moments—accidental falls and near-fatal trips—but he has somehow managed to survive them all.

 

Which is why he wonders how his life came to this, wonders how he managed to attract such an unappealing form of death.

 

Because this is it for Harry, really. This is the end. Death can come to him and he would gladly embrace it. It is the only possible end result, in Harry’s opinion.

 

The radio continues to play in the background, Harry’s hands tightening around the steering wheel in an attempt to stay cool and collected. The car doesn’t even swerve.

 

Okay, so the car swerves but it’s not even noticeable. Harry is much more concerned with the spider that’s currently crawling up his windshield. On the _inside_ of the car.

 

He’s totally cool and collected.

 

Harry is on some expressway, is the thing. He’s on an expressway and it’s almost 7 in the morning and he still needs to drive another half hour until he gets to work but how in the world does he do that when there’s this _spider_.

 

Harry eyes the creature, shoulders curving towards his body, trying to hide or disappear or do something other than remain at the mercy of this bug. This giant bug that could surly kill Harry, if it wanted to. He’s cool as a cucumber.

 

The spider makes its way across the windshield, taunting a very frightened Harry. The radio is still blaring and this is Harry’s jam so he whisper-shouts the lyrics, bobbing his head slightly and hoping the spider doesn’t hear him singing and decide to attack.

 

Two songs later and Harry is feeling more at ease. The spider has stayed in his line of sight and he is nearing the town where he works and life is really looking up. Well, as much as it can when there is a spider within touching distance. Harry doesn’t know how he’s going to get the spider out of his car later, but he’s optimistic.

 

And then suddenly, without warning Harry’s entire world stops. He swears he goes deaf for about ten whole seconds. That could be due to his screaming, of course.

 

Because the spider is crawling up towards the roof of the car, towards Harry’s _head_. And suddenly Harry can’t see it and he’s hunched over, screaming into the palm of his hand while he casually drives down the street.

 

He makes a split-second decision and turns off at a gas station, pulling hastily into a parking spot and barely remembering to put the car in park before he throws himself out the door. He stays on the asphalt for a while, breathing heavily and contemplating his next move.

 

Then Harry stands, brushing off his polka-dot button up and running a hand through his curls. He’s calm as fuck.

 

There’s not much at the gas station, just some lady buying Gatorade at a vending machine and a younger guy standing next to his car while it’s being filled with gas. Harry takes a deep breath and starts over towards the guy. He might end up running halfway there, but that’s not important.

 

“Excuse me,” Harry pants, sounding a lot less cool than he’s trying to. The guy turns to look up at Harry and there’s this awkward moment of nothing because Harry forgets how to speak for a second. Like, his tongue actually goes numb.

 

Of course this would happen to Harry. Of course he’d have a spider try to kill him in his car and then when he seeks help, he’d have to face some attractive stranger at a gas station with these wide blue eyes.

 

“Yes?” the man says, hair tousled gently from the wind. He’s wearing Adidas joggers and he still looks fresh off the runway—all sharp cheekbones and long eyelashes. Harry probably looks like a big toe right now.

 

“I—um. I need your help,” he stutters, swaying slightly on his heeled boots. The man looks amused, if anything. His eyes crinkle while his lips stay pressed together, waiting patiently for Harry to continue.

 

“Fuck, I—sorry. Okay so, there’s this, um. There’s a _spider_ in my _car_ ,” Harry whispers, aiming his wide pleading eyes towards the other man.

 

There is a beat, and then the man is smiling, canine teeth poking at his lower lip while he tries to bite the smile down. His eyes narrow, but remain crinkled while he leans in and quietly asks, “Is that a euphemism?”

 

Harry just whines.

 

The man actually outwardly laughs at his response, which is a pretty beautiful sight, but Harry can’t really continue driving with a spider looming about his head.

 

“Please, please, please could you smash it for me? Or set it free into the wild, I don’t even care at this point. It was gonna crawl in my hair, I don’t know what to do.”

 

The man gasps, a bit dramatically, and holds a tiny hand over his heart. It’s completely endearing, but Harry doesn’t comment.

 

“Well we can’t have it going anywhere near those curls,” the man exclaims, grinning up at Harry’s flushed face, “Lead the way. Little old Louis will take care of this.”

 

Harry’s smile slowly spreads across his face, cheeks dimpling and eyes shining with genuine thankfulness.

 

“Little old Harry would love that. Thank you so much,” Harry breathes, spinning on his heel and tiptoeing back towards his car. Louis tiptoes behind him, both of them going quiet the closer they get to the creature still hidden inside the vehicle.

 

They both stand next to each other, staring at the car in silence. Louis looks amazingly less enthusiastic about helping Harry than he did a few seconds ago.

 

“Okay, so here’s the thing. I was trying to act all cool so I could impress you but I’m actually terrified of spiders,” Louis says from his spot next to Harry, eyes trained on the inside of the car.

 

Harry doesn’t look over at him, but it gets increasingly harder to hold in his laughter so he soon finds himself bent over, body shaking with his giggles. Louis holds his serious face for about two more seconds before he’s throwing his head back and cackling.

 

It’s truly beautiful—laughing with a fit guy in the early morning light. It’s some pretty poetic shit. Harry could stay here forever, even with the threat of a spider crawling through his hair. Maybe.

 

They quiet down and the sun kind of flashes across Louis’ face, making his skin glow and his eyes turn this watery-sky color. Harry can’t even look away.

 

“I’ll smash the spider for you,” Louis smiles, small and private, “I won’t like it, but I’ll do it.”

 

Harry doesn’t respond, just watches Louis with these soft eyes. Louis bites at his lip, looking insecure, before he steps towards the car. His hand closes around the handle, wrist flexing while he prepares himself.

 

“Wait,” Harry interrupts, suddenly second guessing himself. Louis turns around looking slightly relieved.

 

“We shouldn’t smash it. What was I thinking? How would I feel if someone just came along and smashed me?” Harry rambles, hands moving up to tug on his hair. Louis looks absolutely incredulous. It’s an expression Harry has long gotten used to.

 

“I, um. Do you have a cup?” Louis asks, taking the situation in stride. He seems to be incredibly great at keeping up with Harry. Nice.

 

“Hmm, I’ve got a water bottle, but it’s in the car,” Harry says, nodding towards his hot pink water bottle sitting in the cup holder. Louis hums, nibbling on the corner of his lips. His hand hesitates near the door handle, but then he’s yanking the door open and snatching the water bottle before he slams the door closed with a loud boom. It happens so fast, Harry doesn’t even register what Louis did until the man is hunched over with a hand on his chest, like he’s trying to calm his racing heart.

 

“Did you see it? Is the spider in there?” Harry asks, moving closer to place a reassuring hand on Louis’ back.

 

Louis makes a strained noise, glancing back at the car. He takes the cap off the water bottle, taking a large sip before dumping the rest on the ground. It splashes on Louis’ shoes but he doesn’t say anything about it.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna do it now,” Louis says, leaning slightly towards where Harry’s hand is still touching him.

 

“Okay,” Harry smiles, patting his back in reassurance. Louis opens the door again. He moves slowly, leaning into the car with searching eyes. Harry holds his breath, body tense while he waits for Louis’ shout of joy when he says he caught it.

 

“Harry, I don’t see it. Are you sure there was a—oh fucking _shit_!”

 

Harry watches in horror as Louis’ whole body jumps about a foot into the air. He must hit his head on the roof of the car or something because then he’s screaming and cursing loudly before going completely motionless.

 

It’s only after a few seconds of toe-curling silence that Harry speaks, “You alright, Louis?”

 

Louis doesn’t move an inch, body frozen and tense. Harry is slightly worried, but he’d really like to know that an eight-legged insect won’t attack him if he steps any closer.

 

“What the fuck do I do now?” Louis cries, voice muffled and stressed. It’s almost funny, really.

 

Harry carefully steps closer to the car, but he can’t quite see so he moves through the door until his body is draped over Louis, hips pressed against Louis’ ass and head hooked over his shoulder. It’s not even weird because there’s a fucking huge spider trapped under Harry’s water bottle and they’re both more than a little terrified.

 

“Oh, wow. Nice job,” Harry says, lips almost brushing Louis’ ear.

 

“Thanks,” Louis responds weakly.

 

They watch the spider crawl around like crazy for a bit before Harry thinks they should probably do something about it. He removes himself from the car, a little awkwardly because he ends up falling flat on his ass when he finally gets out.

 

“Harry,” Louis calls from the car, “I’m gonna need you to step to the side while I get this spider out of your car. Stay calm.”

 

Harry quickly stands up and moves to back of the car, yelling out when he’s in position. He watches through the window in the back as Louis takes a deep, soothing breath and scoops the water bottle so the spider falls the bottom of it. He pushes himself out of the car and doesn’t hesitate before throwing the water bottle as far as he can across the parking lot.

 

It all looked pretty hot, if you ask Harry.

 

Louis seems shocked for a moment before he jumps to life, smiling wide and bounding over to Harry to give him a hug. They both cheer, spinning in circles with their arms around each other.

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Harry says with each spin. Louis just blushes in this cute way that makes Harry want to hug him forever. Their movements slow, and Louis looks thoughtful for a moment, watching Harry’s grinning face.

 

“You know I think you owe me for that,” he says, eyes widening like he’s trying to imply something.

 

Harry smiles with these shiny eyes, arms still wrapped around Louis. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he concedes, suddenly feeling cheeky, “but that was my favorite water bottle that you just threw across the parking lot. So maybe _you_ owe _me_.”

 

Louis’ face goes still, his mouth dropping open comically. He half turns, like he’s going to run to retrieve the water bottle for Harry, but that just won’t do, so Harry tightens his arms around him and smiles extra wide.

 

“It’s okay. I think I know how you can make it up to me,” Harry teases. It’s cute how quickly Louis’ face morphs into this skeptical look when he realizes that Harry is joking.

 

“What?” Louis asks slowly, with narrowed eyes. Harry could tease him like this for hours.

 

“I think,” Harry says, “that you should give me your number. You know, just in case I ever see any more spiders.”

 

“Ah, yes. That sounds like a great idea. You should probably take me out for drinks sometime, though. To make up for putting me through that traumatic experience and all.”

 

Louis is such a little shit. Harry almost kisses him right there.

 

“Of course, yeah. The whole spider-killing thing was only an added bonus, though. Would’ve taken you out for drinks just because you’re cute,” Harry smirks, dimples flashing and making Louis’ cheeks flush.

 

“Shut the fuck up and give me your phone.”

 

It isn’t until Harry is at work later that he gets a text. The message is just a spider emoji, sent from _Your Heroic Spider Killer_. Harry can’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> there's actually not a spider emoji. i know, it's really upsetting.
> 
> UPDATE: THEY MADE A SPIDER EMOJI. WE HAVE ALL BEEN BLESSED.


End file.
